Let There Be White

I don't know if it's a feeble attempt to regain my innocence or just an easy solution to brightening a dark house, but lately I've been wanting to spray paint everything white.

I started with the flea market mirror for LevelHead Jr.'s bathroom. I think it turned a switch in my brain to PERMA-WHITE.  Furniture, wall décor, even fake foliage has come under my ultra-white gun.

After the mirror, I was so thrilled with the results that I needed more --- like a Diet Coke addict waiting for the next aspartame hit. I found a pub table on Craig's List (another of my addictions -- will discuss separately). The owner required that I come to his house to inspect, so I dragged Mr. Hubby with me. And I'm glad I did. The guy, resplendent with tattoos on each forearm, invited me to the back of his condo to check out the table. The Hubster's massive dose of testosterone kept the CL man's actions in check.

After negotiating a good price (thanks, LevelHead Dad for teaching me fierce skills), I knew that I would be painting its oak color, oh-so trendy in the '80s, a beautiful white. I used a roller and brush for the transformation. The process took many coats, and now I'm stuck with some brush stroke marks despite my concerted efforts to eliminate them. But it still looks pretty good.

Unfortunately, I made a newbie blogger mistake and forgot to take a ''before'' picture, but you can see the ''after'' below. I still have plans for Mr. Hubby to use his mad painting skills and add something to the top -- will post when he completes that.

Over the weekend, I continued my epic journey and painted a wreath and the nightstand in LevelHead Jr.'s room. Now, the nightstand was a long time coming. When we moved to the new house, I made the naive statement to LHJ that she could decorate her room any way she wanted.

Little did I know she'd actually hold me to it. I have to run every decision by her -- she's the worst micro-manager I've ever had. So when we found the table at a flea market for $7, I thought we had found the deal of the day. Plus, I knew it would look adorable painted white.

But who knew LJH preferred wood in its natural state? So we negotiated for weeks, and I finally found her Achilles' heel: the china doll from The Great and Powerful Oz. So my table is turning out to not be the be bargain I originally found, but at least I'm getting my way.

And this time I ditched the paintbrush and went for a spray can with primer and paint in one. This stuff is fabulous -- the table barely needs a second coat.

I'm also spray painting a wreath, but this is proving a little more difficult. Apparently, fake leaves are not meant to be altered in color. But I am not so easily defeated and will keep trying.

Here are some pics from my White Album: the bistro table in the kitchen nook; before and after shots of LHJ's nightstand; and the Wreath That Doesn't Want To Be White ..

If Walls Could Talk ...

The hardwood floors are as good as they're gonna get. The repair dudes did a great job fixing the entrance to the living room -- it's all nice and level, but I can tell exactly where they stopped their work, thanks to the little dip that's still present.

Maybe I'm just too picky. I've probably said this a million times already, but if I had to do over again, I would rip out all the bad sub-flooring, replace it and have nailed hardwoods installed. But until I get my time machine perfected, the floating floors and I will have to learn to peacefully co-exist.

So let's move on to another room ... while I attended Chiggerpalooza at the fountain over the weekend, Mr. Hubster was painting the master bedroom. This may seem like a fairly straight-forward project, but the walls in that room are crazy-weird. When you move the roller one direction, you apply paint; when you move it the opposite way, the paints comes back off about half the time -- and often with a good amount of drywall.

I didn't have any problems when I painted below the chair rail in the same room last week (don't ask me why the previous owners installed a chair rail in a bedroom, but with all the projects to be done, we decided to leave it). The only difference we can pinpoint is wallpaper -- we had removed wallpaper where The Hubster was painting, but not where I had been.

So we're not sure what came first: did the previous owners hang wallpaper because the walls had issues, or were the walls being difficult because there was still lingering adhesive? That may be one of life's great unanswered questions.

But in the end, Mr. Hubby persevered, and the walls look great. Plus, we removed the funeral parlor drapes and replaced them with some sheers so the backyard view wouldn't be blocked.

I've got some before and after pics below, but please keep in mind that the room hasn't been decorated, just painted. I made the bed so it at least looked presentable. And if you look closely, you can see fabric wrapped around the existing small pillow; my intention is to sew a pillow cover -- that will probably be a blog post in and of itself since I don't sew ...

Fountain Follies

Spent a good part of the weekend cleaning, de-gunking, and generally trying to freshen up the outside fountain that the flooring guy accidentally fixed Friday.

I was equipped with rubber gloves so the general grossness of cleaning didn't bother me that much. It was more the tenacity of the dirt that got to me. I just couldn't get it clean -- at least as spic 'n span as I wanted it to be. And I didn't want to use any toxic chemicals that might kill the various wildlife that hangs out in our neighborhood. So it was me with vinegar and a toothbrush trying to make a discernible difference.

After coming to the realization that perfection was not going to be within reach, I accepted my pseudo-improvement and worked to get the fountain flowing. I couldn't figure out how to disconnect the tubing to flush it out, so all I was doing was sending fresh water through disgusting hoses.

But it didn't matter much anyway because there must be a hole in the water basin -- after filling it all the way, the pump would stop because the water level got too low. This happened numerous times -- not frustrating at all.

Plus, it was hard getting those resin rocks to allow the water to filter down in a way that made a pleasant noise. Most of the time, you could hear the deer chomping on the day lilies more than the comforting sound of negative ions being released.

And no matter what way you positioned them, the plastic rocks were obviously pretending to be a real fountain. So we decided that we'll check out the end of summer sales to see if we can get a better water feature cheap. The expensive electrical part has already been completed by previous owners; it's just a matter of getting a nice fountain with a powerful pump.

So that would be the end of this weekend's story except for some squatters who were living beneath the fountain: chiggers. Saturday night, I began itching about half-way through the night and woke up the next morning convinced we had beg bugs. But after some online research, I found that chiggers love high-moisture areas and can build quite the condominium complex if given the chance. And it can take 24-48 hours before you feel the bites.

My stomach and back look like they should be photographed for a medical journal. But I will not be posting pictures of my bitten body in order to prevent future nightmares; just know it's not pretty.

Tomorrow's update: the master bedroom stops looking like a funeral parlor.

Some pictures of the fountain cleaning and a happy pic post-clean-up before the fountain stopped working for the first time ... photos courtesy of LevelHead Jr.

Buy One, Get One Free

The flooring guys were back at it today, finishing up the repair. I don't know how well it's worked -- we're not allowed to walk on it until tomorrow.

Maybe that's part of their fiendish plan. They actually didn't make one darn change -- they just created a lot of noise and sweated profusely. Now they're heading to Vegas during this "Do Not Disturb'' interlude, never to be seen again.

I guess we'll find out tomorrow. But in the meantime, there's yet another reason to eat out; they did some work right in front of the refrigerator. Now I ask you, how can you prepare a healthy, veggie and fruit-rich meal without a fridge? So we're restaurant-bound yet again. But after this super-hot day, I'm not minding too much, as you might be able to tell.

As the guys were doing their thing, one of them approached me with a sheepish look on his face. "While I was outside plugging in the extension cord,'' he sayed coyly, ''I accidentally tripped the circuit and turned on your fountain.''

Well, two things came to mind as he talked. 1) Why did he feel the need to use an outside outlet, when there are about 2,000 of them indoors. And 2) we were about to call an electrician to get the fountain working. And he did it accidentally. What a hoot! (OK, my sense of humor has been permanently warped by this reno, so you may not find the irony of this situation, or am I being Alanis Morissette?)

So tomorrow my plans have changed. Instead of painting for the zillionth time, I'll be donning rubber gloves and cleaning out the nastiness that is the neglected water feature. Goodness knows what I'll find, maybe the greatest compost in the world. Then I'll attack the fountain with vinegar and a brush. Wonder if I can channel Tom Sawyer and somehow get LevelHead Jr. to do it. Doubt it, she'll see right through me, one of the downsides of having an intelligent child ...

The fountain, complete with murky water and general putridness of an unknown source ...

2,089: A Reno Odyssey

Just a quick thank-you to all dedicated readers of this blog. I've now had over 2,000 hits!!

Carpe Diem!!

Close, But No Cigar

Last night it seemed we were about to start living a half-way normal life again. The kitchen was functional, our deer hunter dog had returned and the living room was in usable shape.

Then ... then ... the flooring guys returned this morning. These are the dudes who installed the hardwoods the first time but failed to take our inadequate subflooring into account.

We waited two weeks for this day. The head installer's wife has been in intensive care on and off for that amount of time (The LevelHead Curse continues -- this is the second contractor/relative of contractor I've put in the hospital).

But the boys showed up bright and early to start the repair. I wasn't really sure what the plans were, but it turns out they're tearing up the floor at the entrance, putting down leveling compound and then putting the hardwoods back.

I kind of got the feeling the head guy wants me to pay a price for tattling to the company's installation manager about his work. He kept talking about how they were going to have to move everything out of the living room, put down leveling compound two days straight and basically make our lives a living Hades during their tenure.

But I just smiled sweetly and agreed to everything. I was so proud of myself -- I never apologized for their having to come back (during younger years, I would have begged their forgiveness); didn't start groveling when the head dude said he'd have to pay for the replacement flooring himself and generally acted like an adult who had the expectation of quality work. Wow, I guess there are some good parts about getting older.

So they totally tore up part of the living room floor and moved furniture to block every available walking path in the process. It was off to the restaurant again tonight, but hopefully, only for two nights. Then we'll start the road to normal again.

After how long it's taken to get most of this kitchen done, what's two more days. Heck, that's little more than the blink of an eye in contractor time ...

Our living room in complete chaos, yet again.

Dogless Days of Summer

We enjoyed our first real meal in the new kitchen tonight -- it involved boiled water, people! We haven't seen that in six weeks. Mr. Hubby made simple pasta, but LevelHead Jr. and I gave it five stars. In fact, LHJ ate three helpings after crying out "real food!!"

I meant to post last night, but LevelHead Canine had different plans. The Hubster and I have been working with LHC on learning the boundaries of the wireless pet containment system (translation: a box in the living room emits a sound and then a mild zap if she moves beyond The Circle of Non-Zapping around the house). It's like an electric fence, but if she goes beyond the limit, it keeps giving her electrified reasons to come back to base. It doesn't hurt her, and I wouldn't normally be in favor of such a device, but she's such an escape artist, we had no choice.

So we're in the backyard last night, commenting about how nice it will be to give her some space outdoors where she can sniff and play. No sooner had the words come out of our mouths when she saw a deer and took off like a state employee who's earned a sick day.

Walking around the neighborhood in search of our deer hunter, we heard her barking but never did see her. She actually stayed out all night. I woke up at three in the morning wondering if she had been mauled by a deer or run over by a car.

Dawn came, and still no LHC. I thought she was long gone or long dead, neither of which would be good for LHJ. But mid-morning, a neighbor came and asked if LHC was missing. Turns out another neighbor we haven't met yet woke up to find an exhausted beast on her deck.

She slept all day and has a really bad limp when she tries to walk. We'll see if that gets better in the next couple of days. So relieved she's OK. Next time we want to attach DogCam to her collar so we can enjoy her exploits when she finally returns.

Wow, I totally got off-subject with that story. Back to the house. I've been trying to save money everywhere I can now that the unavoidable costs have been incurred. My latest endeavor has been a mirror for LevelHead Jr.'s bathroom.

I found a great mirror at a flea market -- perfect size for the space and perfect price for my budget -- just the wrong color. So I decided to spray paint it glossy white. I think it turned out pretty darn well for a non-crafty girl. I'm hoping this will be just the beginning of my cost-saving measures. Next on my list: paint the dining room table I got free from my former neighbor.

But back to the dog for just a second: I know this post is not exactly a stellar ad for the product, but if anyone is in need of a wireless pet containment system, we've got one really cheap. And it may work just great for you, especially is your friend is old ... OK, make that really old ... OK, make that unable to walk ...

My mirror project: before and after -- no comments on the legs, please.

I'll See It When I Believe It

This blog is quickly becoming a study in the power of positive thinking.

I decided that just because we've had some glitches along the way doesn't mean that every contractor is in cahoots to derail our progress.

So I started saying things like ''when the countertops arrive tomorrow'' instead of ''if'', and I'll be diddly darned if the installers didn't show up bright and early Wednesday morning to work their magic.

Well, that is, they installed our quartz when they weren't taking potty breaks. The first guy asked if he could use the bathroom within twenty minutes of arriving. About a half hour after that, the second guy requested the same but couldn't get in because the first guy was back at it. Apparently, countertop installation is as effective as fiber for regularity.

But in between flushes, they installed a beautiful countertop -- it's just what I wanted.

And as I write, TJ the plumber is installing our faucet and disposal -- meaning we will have a working kitchen within the hour. Hallelujah!!

Plus, Mr. Honest and his son Kip have finished about 95% of their cabinet work, so it's beyond a functional kitchen; it even looks good too. But I do feel bad. I overheard the two talking (I don't think they knew I was within listening distance), saying that this job has taken way more time than Mr. Honest had anticipated and he's not making much money on the project.

I feel awful. He has gone so beyond the call of duty for me that I certainly don't want him to lose money on the deal. I should have known when his price came in well below half of what Lowe's was going to charge. So I asked him to think about what he would have priced it at, knowing what he knows now. We're supposed to talk this morning.

Since we're spending so much money on this kitchen (under-estimated cabinets notwithstanding), I have to start looking for some deals on the other stuff needed for the house. I found a great area rug at overstock.com, but that's not quite the savings I need, so I'm becoming a Craig's List girl. I've never been before.

I found some bar stools that looked pretty good, so I texted the guy, and we arranged a time to meet. Mr. Hubby let me go by myself -- I'm guessing he thought it would be the perfect crime: the Craig's List dude would do off with me, and The Hubster couldn't be accused of wrongdoing.

But my first CL friend didn't kill me; he merely pulled the two chairs out of his touring flea market truck and let me look at them. One of the stools had a big water stain on the top, so I didn't purchase. But after I got home, I had the idea that I could paint the wicker tops, so I texted him again and asked if he'd take half-price. He didn't respond.

I think he quickly pegged me as one of those picky women who would never be satisfied. How he saw straight through me so quickly, I'll never know.

But I'm not that easily deterred, so I found a table on The List and am arranging to go see it today. This time I'm forcing Mr. Hubby to go with me since the seller won't meet me in the grocery store parking lot like the traveling yard sale guy did. I have to go to his house. I guess Mr. H realizes that he'd be questioned by the police a little too closely about why he let me go to this unknown person's home alone.

But I digress from the kitchen's progress. All we need now is a butcher block countertop for the island; the people that did the quartz said it could take up to a month to get, so I'm going to look at some other companies.

But I'm still a very happy General Contractor today. And if I survive my Craig's List adventure, I may be a very happy table owner too. If I don't post anything for a week, you'll know the CL guy has kidnapped me and run off to, hopefully, the Bahamas. But still give Mr. Hubby a hard time; he'll be enjoying himself WAY too much without my lovable nagging ...

The quartz is in! The faucet is in! The bills are in!

From Pink Pig to Pigtails

Mr. Hubby reminded me over the weekend that last year at this time I was in the hospital recovering from major surgery.

How far I've come, if I do say so myself -- from being told I had ovarian cancer (which I didn't) to being the general contractor on our house renovation. I feel very healthy most of the time, despite a little insanity here and there. But that makes life interesting, right? Don't tell The Hubster I said that.

After surgery, I spent a good amount of time in bed with a pig beanie baby held close to my incision. It was a gift from my former boss. In addition to providing a nice amount of pressure, which felt good, you could heat it up for some added warmth.

Flash forward one year: yesterday I ran an errand for the plumber who was in need of an electrical device called a pigtail. I'm not making this up. It's a little gizmo with a grounded plug-in on one side and wires on the other. He needed it for the dishwasher disconnect required by the county inspector.

As I was going from store to store (it's hard to find a pigtail for a dishwasher apparently), the thought of my surgery pig, with its own little cute tail, made me stop and think.

I'm so grateful for the outcome of my cancer scare. But I know there are thousands of women who aren't so lucky. I think of them a lot and wish them strength and courage to face each and every battle they're forced to fight on their road to recovery. Unfortunately, some of them won't be on the winning side, in terms of health.

But what lessons they will learn about life. I learned a few of them just having the scare: hug the people you love every day, try not to get too upset about those stones life likes to throw at us and whatever we do, be grateful for every breath we're blessed to take.

Whoa, didn't mean this to get all preachy. Just feeling great about how far I've come since last year.

Tomorrow I'll be back to the reno game. The countertops are supposed to be here!!! But tonight I want to concentrate on what I have right now -- and I don't mean cabinets and lights.

I'm talking about the best husband and kid a girl could ask for -- plus my family and friends.

Wishing everyone their own pig moments tonight!

My friend, Pinky the Pig ...

Play the Glad Game!

In a quest to get back to my Pollyanna/Norman Vincent Peale ways, I have decided to indulge in a mental exercise that Ms. P called The Glad Game.

In the classic tale about the little girl who maintained a great outlook despite her circumstances, Pollyanna would try to find the positive in whatever happened to her.

So I'm going to play The Glad Game myself.

Not having a kitchen is pretty much a total drag, but there are some upsides. One is the whole concept of frozen dinners. The idea that one can conjure up a gourmet-sounding meal in seven minutes or less is pretty amazing. And no pre-planning is needed.

Mr. Hubby would like chicken piccata? No problem -- presto, a delicious smelling delicacy can be placed in front of him in the time it takes to press a knife in the plastic overwrap for venting.

LevelHead Jr. would like mac 'n cheese, corn and a brownie for dessert? Boom, there it is! Sure, it takes a few seconds longer to remove the plastic wrap from only the brownie before microwaving, but she's worth it.

And the lack of prep time has really made it ideal for Mr. Hubby and me to enjoy some cocktail time in the new porch before dinner. At the old house, one of us would have to eventually leave the fun to start cooking. Not now. We have the time to get downright tipsy if we want.

Not having a kitchen also makes grocery shopping a breeze. I've got it down to about fifteen minutes. I stop in produce, dairy and frozen foods, and voila,  my weekly task is done.

Plus, I've talked Mr. Hubby into letting us eat out two times a week for dinner. We never used to go out that much.

Hmmm, the more I'm thinking about it, maybe I should hope our quartz countertop is MIA for a few weeks longer, at least to get me through the summer.

See how much fun The Glad Game is? Try to play it yourself. You just might find a problem has a silver lining.

Happy Independence Day, everyone! I'm off to the grocery store to see if any frozen dinners come with fireworks ...

ARGHHHHH

I am VERY frustrated today! Sorry Pollyanna, but I can't help it.

We still don't know if our quartz countertop material is going to arrive in time for fabrication and installation tomorrow -- which means we can't get our sink installed, blah blah blah -- won't have a working kitchen until the next millennium, blah blah blah -- marriage may not survive the delays -- yada yada yada ...

I know in the scheme of things, a functioning kitchen is pretty low on the list of life's stressors, but it's still not fun. Plus, the plumbers may not be able to squeeze in our bathroom vanity installation because of the holiday. Of course I'm proud that the USA is a free nation and that we celebrate our independence each year, but right about now I'm kinda wishin' we were a dictatorship and that Thursday and Friday were regular workdays.

Great, just got a call from the countertop place -- our quartz is non-existent and didn't arrive on the truck. Better yet, it may be two weeks or more before it arrives. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! In retrospect, renovating a house may not be the ideal occupation for someone of my, how should I say, delicate constitution (translation: nervous nelly bordering on insane).

Hold the phone -- just got another call from Countertops Aren't Us -- their distributor says our stuff will be on next week's truck. I said, ''They're 100% sure??" The scheduling girl then began her backpedaling moonwalk, "Well, nothing can be guaranteed.'' In light of these comforting words, the LevelHead Family has decided to contact some other countertop businesses to see if they might have other options in stock. Will update the blog when we return ...

Insert your favorite music during the break ....

The LHF has returned, and we now know why the countertop company we're working with can treat us so insensitively. We went to see two different other businesses: one was a lot more expensive; the other had locked doors.

Sooooooo, we have to wait yet again. But we're SO close!! The plumbers and electricians are coming early next week -- the electrical will then be finished, and a good part of the plumbing can be handled in one day (I'm purposefully not telling the plumbing office that TJ won't be able to finish the job and install the sink because of aforementioned countertop issues -- I'd rather he get most of the work done and come back and finish the sink and disposal connection in a separate visit).

Oh, and it turns out that TJ is not taking Friday off because of Independence Day, so I take back all that non-patriotic talk above. USA, USA!! TJ will install our master bath sinks for the weekend!! Who knew working sinks would make me so happy?

Speaking of happiness, Mr. Honest and Kip installed more cabinet doors and decorative molding today. It's really looking sharp. Imagine what the cupboards will look like with countertops?? Not THAT will be something to see ...

My beautiful cabinets -- isn't the microwave shelf cute? Also notice the island makeshift countertop ... you gotta do what you gotta do!