Nickels and Dimes

After a day of self-pity -- "oh, poor me, I don't get my pretty kitchen as soon as I wanted; it's such a tragedy" -- please.

I gave myself a 'get-off-the-overflowing-pity-pot' talk and got back on the sawhorse. Tall Drink of Water and his motley crew of slow-pokes don't have to take me down -- well, at least, not completely shut me down. If we can't get cookin' in the kitchen, we do have a total bathroom reno to complete before our move.

I was having a hard time calling in the professionals because I wanted to be a true General Contractor and wait until I had every job ready to go before calling in the big boys/girls -- all the plumbing at once, all the electrical at once, etc. It would be more economical but pretty impossible.

So I'll nickel and dime this operation if I have to in order to move forward. I got on the phone and started scheduling my soon-to-be contractor comrades for specific jobs: the HVAC company to move the heating duct from one wall to the other; the plumber to reconfigure the bathroom sink vent that used to be in the removed soffit; the electrician to move electrical lines from said soffit to the wall. Plus, I have the owner of the electrical company, who also freelances as a lighting designer (the operative word being "free"), coming to give me advice on future kitchen illumination.

And when all else fails, SHOP!!! I've tried to put off getting distracted by choosing fixtures and paint colors and all the fun stuff until the down and dirty tasks were done. But if Tall Drink is going to thwart my good intentions, then I will keep this train moving by visiting every showroom, big box store and on-line boutique that I can fit into my days -- that's how dedicated I am to this project.

It's onward and upward time again, dear readers. See you at Lowe's!!　

　

　

One Step Forward, Ten Back

Like I wasn't feeling down enough about the whole project and its lack of forward movement yesterday, I received an email from Tall Drink of Water -- it's unfortunately been a long time since I mentioned his name, so I'll remind readers that he's the contractor who's going to remove our perpendicular load-bearing walls and make our open-concept dreams come true.

Turns out he may be making dream come true, but they sure as Hades won't be ours -- at least any time soon. At first I was all excited to see his email and my first official contract for services ... until I saw the dates of completion. Work to be conducted from May 1 - May 30???? Wasn't this the guy who told me on March 27th that he had one job in front of ours, which would be completed in three weeks? I had even built an extra week into my schedule, ensuring that his work would be done by the end of April.

I emailed him back immediately and asked for the sake of my marriage and bodily safety if he could make the completion date April 30th. He called about an hour later to discuss our "miscommunication." I don't mean to bad-mouth Tall Drink; he seemed to really feel bad about our misunderstanding and completely understood if we wanted to hire someone else. But gosh darn it, he comes highly recommended, has already been in talks with Mr. Swift, the humorless structural engineer and has a work plan submitted to us.

It then came to me at like a bolt of heat lightening on a sultry summer night -- in the words of Seinfeld, I have no hand. I have absolutely NO influence on, or power over, these contractors. I don't have 100s of general contracting jobs under my tool belt. I haven't earned the right to call in favors from my construction buddies. I'm just an honest homeowner trying to save some cash by it doing herself: the very bottom of the Contractor Totem Pole. And there's not a dang thing I can do about it. They know it. Now I know it. But it stinks, even worse than those uneaten Easter eggs rotting on the old kitchen counter.

So in the end, since his other job involves outside work, Tall Drink of Water and I agreed that the May completion date will stand, but we will be his back-up plan of choice on days of inclement weather. Oh, boy ...

What's one more month? We'll be moving into the house at the end of May, kitchen or no kitchen. Looks like it's going to be hot plate city for a while. Who would have thought three months wasn't enough time to get a kitchen renovated??

We're At War!

Saturday started with a playdate for LevelHead, Jr. so that Mr. Hubby and I could tackle the kitchen floor and its maybe/maybe not asbestos issues.

After dropping off LHJ, I arrived at the house to find my better half tearing out clumps of vinyl, simultaneously informing me that he felt like Sherman razing Atlanta during the Civil War. I made a mental note to see if hallucinations were a symptom of asbestos exposure. I decided it was best to nod my head in agreement, afraid that spousal attacks might be another side effect for dubious wives.

But as I got to work, I found he was completely right (or I succumbed to the fumes, as well). Success was all about finding a weak spot in the enemy's line and going after it with all your might. If you could get your putty knife under just a centimeter of obstinate adhesive, you had a good chance of eventually ripping out a fairly good-sized piece. After a while, we were left with The Islands of Stubbornness -- pieces of flooring that were harder to get into than a new kid's toy wrapped in plastic.

We got about 75% removed and agreed that we had a better chance of finally winning this war after a good night's sleep. But it turned out the enemy also had a chance to rest, strengthening its hold even more. So now we've decided the best plan of attack is wearing down our opponent with frequent insurgent maneuvers.

We have seen the enemy, and he is Armstrong Solarium Vinyl!

BTW, Mr. Hubby had a face-to-face with Robin, our aviary friend and convinced him to check out our screened-in porch and then eventually released him back into the wild.

Here are some pics from this weekend, including my Catch of the Day, one of the biggest pieces of flooring I got up intact.

Flying High!

Not too much to report today.

Yesterday was pretty uneventful, except for the bird that has moved into the house! I was showing some friends our project, and we all heard a loud bang -- my guests thought it was Mr. Honest, the handyman, but he doesn't have his own key (yet). I thought it might be Mr. Hubby, but there was no response when I called his name (which doesn't necessarily mean anything; he tunes me out most of the time). The noise stopped, and we forgot about it,

I took my guests to the master suite, where I was mesmerizing them with my plans to build a wall-size closet on one end of the room and expand the bathroom on the other, when all at once a bird buzzed by just over over our heads. We tried to get it to the window, but he decided the rafters in the kitchen ceiling were more appealing.

He was quiet the rest of the tour, only to reappear when Mr. Hubby met Mr. Honest & Son later in the afternoon. They again tried to get him out a window, but I think Robin The Bird has grown rather fond of us and wants to stick around to see what renovation project we mess up next.

So now I'm in fear that Robin is going to whitewash all our floors, walls and anything else he can target with his precision-aimed bunghole. I want a white kitchen, but come on birdy, this is NOT what I had in mind ...

Asbestos? What asbestos?

Met with our incredible handyman yesterday, who also happens to be our cabinet maker. He is SO honest, you almost think there's got to be a catch, like he's going to be found out as the biggest serial killer since Ted Bundy (that dates me, huh?).

Anyway, Mr. Honest (that's what we'll call him) and his son came to take down the kitchen soffits. I had to go to work, so I just gave them general instructions, and they were off and running. Before I left, I mentioned that we were going to take out the kitchen floor this coming weekend and asked if he had any words of wisdom for us demo newbies.

He talked about using a floor scraper and that he had one we could borrow (he's just so darn nice!). So I was off to work to help our future leaders (I work part-time at LevelHead Jr.'s school). After my time there, I came home to find The Honest Boys gone. I was looking admiringly where the soffits used to be and commenting to myself how much bigger the kitchen looked now. I was all smiles until I happened to look down and see half the vinyl floor gone!

Mr. Honest and Son had removed two layers of flooring, which may or may not have contained asbestos. There were little vinyl chips and dust everywhere. Our plans to pretend we were a hazmat team when removing the floor were now down the drain (which I hope was not insulated with asbestos, as well.).

But how could I be angry? Mr. Honest had done the work out of the goodness of his heart -- simply because he's one of the nicest guys ever to hit the home improvement world. I immediately called him to see how this demo had come about, and he said he just wanted to see how hard it would be. When I asked him the difficulty score, he said "very."

So I quickly started spraying everything down with the only squirt bottle I had, but it was like trying to get drunk by inhaling wine corks -- it just wasn't enough.

Then my friend came to meet for lunch, and I warned her that she might be breathing in asbestos fumes; she lived in Japan during the nuclear disaster there, so she thought her internal radiation would devour any asbestos particles.

So my only option now is to go into complete denial: that floor had no asbestos and anyone who tells me differently can take a flying leap from one of our upstairs windows, that is, if they actually opened and weren't painted shut. But what else can I do? There's no point in getting it tested now; the damage, if any, has been done.

So Mr. Hubby and I only have to take out HALF a floor this weekend using our universal precautions, which will involve keeping the floor damp and wearing our masks. The poor Honest Boys were not wearing any protection -- are we about to be sued? But I didn't ASK them to do the work; they completely volunteered when I wasn't even around.

All I can do now is try to clean everything up and hope for the best and keep reminding myself what the county inspector told me about asbestos used in flooring not being as dangerous as some other types. I've almost got myself convinced already ...

Me, overreact??

Had a very interesting and informative phone conversation with a county building inspector yesterday about the whole asbestos issue. Turns out I may have overreacted just a teensy-weensy bit ... so unlike me, I know.

He informed me that our flooring most probably does not contain asbestos because of the year of home construction and that even if it does contain a small amount of the bad mineral, it's of a more stable compound than the mega-nasty stuff that was used as pipe insulation and the like.

My new pal said that we would have to pulverize our floor to release the dangerous particles. And I don't think that we'll do that unless Mr. Hubby and I get into an altercation that involves calling law enforcement.

Great news! So now we can take out those ultra-ugly vinyl layers. And just as an aside, I don't know why the previous owners ever put down the second layer of flooring -- I much preferred the first choice. It's kind of cobblestone-looking with a nice beige tint to it; the top layer is just a plain nasty we-live-in-the-'70's-and-I'm-looking-groovy-in-my-leisure-suit pattern.

So now I need to research the easiest way to remove sheet flooring. The building inspector recommended making the floor damp to ensure any released particles don't get into the air. And I think I recall something about putting really hot, wet towels on the floor to loosen the adhesive. But first we have to remove like 300 nails the previous owners installed on top of the vinyl, I think, simply to miff off anyone who tried to remove it.

The fun continues ...

Steam-o-Rama

Spent all day Saturday with my new friend, the wallpaper steamer. I can't believe this is the first time I've ever steamed (except at Mr. Hubby, of course). We've previously owned two older homes, one built in the 20's and one in the 30's, yet I've never removed wallpaper. I think in the past I've been smart and just painted over it. But that was before my obsession with HGTV -- Candace Olsen would never do such a thing, so I won't either.

Before actually steaming, I imagined long strips of paper magically flying off the walls after being touched by the warm mist of the machine. After trying it, not so much. I guess that's why they never show it being done on TV -- it would make for VERY boring television, plus there would be so much bleeped out language, viewers would never hear any actual dialogue.

But I persevered ... and scraped ... and tugged ... and dug with my fingers and, well, you get the idea. But every once in a while, I'd pull a long, wide sheet off in one piece, and it was like what I imagine that first-time drug high must be but can never be reached again. There must be thousands of steamer addicts out there, desperately trying to repeat that first easy pull, never to attain nirvana again.

It was like when we were kids after an intense sunburn (before anyone told us to wear sunscreen). Remember pulling off the dead skin after a few days? You'd get a huge piece, and it just felt so cool.

I steamed most of the day but didn't get nearly as far as I had hoped. So we think we may buy a steamer instead of paying rental fees. Goodness knows there's enough wallpaper in this house to get a tidy return on our investment and then some.

Sunday, Mr. Hubby and I greeted the most holy of Christian holidays by having a big fight, full of thoughtless accusations and unresolved issues from every previous argument we've ever had. He's all like,"this reno isn't moving forward at all", and I'm all like, "these projects take time. Rome wasn't built in a day." Yada yada you're a jerk, blah,blah, you can be so cruel ... you know the drill. We resolved our differences by agreeing that I will try to get some forward movement from contractors, and Mr. Hubby will spend more time on outside projects so he doesn't have to see the mess.

Today, I will try to find info about asbestos testing (government offices were closed on Friday) and see if I can find someone to do some soffit demo to replace Mr. Hubby/Destructo Boy, who is entering a super busy time at work.

Onward and upward ...

Photos courtesy of LevelHead, Jr.