One of my buds, the apprentice helper, has the nickname ''Smoke''. I asked with fingers crossed if the nickname is due to his two-pack a day habit or his ability to cause fiery fumes at every job site. Lucky for me -- not so much for Smoke -- he's got a limited life expectancy due to his love of cigarettes. So of course, the lead electrician must hereby be deemed "Mirrors''.
On my morning drive to the house, my jaded self kept saying that something was going to go wrong and that they wouldn't complete the job as scheduled. And my universe, which is currently ruled by misguided contractors, did not dissapoint.
It all started out well enough. Smoke and Mirrors are both cordial fellows and seemed ready for a day of wiring and circuits. They worked diligently for about an house until one of them mentioned the magic word that can halt an ongoing job faster than loose women on a Saturday night: ''break''. I guess 60 minutes of activity is rewarded with a quarter hour's rest and nicotine, according to union regs.
They eventually got back on task and were working efficiently when I had to leave for work. They confirmed that they would still be at the house when I stopped by post-kindergarteners. But when I opened the door, I didn't hear any Garth Brooks or Led Zeppelin, so I knew trouble was brewing. I figured S&M (their initials, gentle readers) were at lunch, so I scraped some wallpaper, tried to remove tile, sanded joint compoud, all my usual time killers. Still no Smoke and no Mirrors. I was about to leave when the front door opened, and Mirrors began apologizing for their tardiness. Not good, I thought. When's the last time a contractor apologized for being late?
Smoke then told me how their quick trip to McDonald's turned into a major ordeal when the truck wouldn't start after their Filet 'O Fish happy meals. So they had to have someone try to jump their truck (didn't work), then have it towed back to the shop.
At this point, I imagined their boss, shop owner Rug Man, turning into Mr. Crab from Sponge Bob. He must have seen dollar bills flying out the door at the thought of a qualified mechanic, so he called Smoke and Mirrors back to the shop to replace the truck starter. And as we all know, no one refuses Mr. Crab.
I didn't fight their departure too much since no other contractor was scheduled for today, plus we're paying by the job, not the hour. So S&M earning their mechanic badges wasn't really a deal-breaker for me.
And they were back today, which I'll tell you about tomorrow ... quite a cliffhanger, I know.
Here they are: Smoke and Mirrors (well, actually, Mirrors and Smoke).
No comments:
Post a Comment